Self-care is one of the most important, if not the most important thing you can do for yourself and those around you in your everyday life. Rather than being a luxury to squeeze into your free time, prioritizing self-care is a necessity if you want to perform at your best in every area of life.
Many of us have been raised to think of self-care as selfish, but the opposite is true. I mean, don’t spend every last penny you don’t have on expensive nails or upkeep on that bleach blonde. Instead, think of self-care as basic maintenance on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. When you look good, smell good, and feel good, you share that goodness with everyone just by being around them.
While pampering yourself with a pedicure, new hairstyle, or spa day is bliss, there are many other ways to find your bliss with inexpensive or even free experiences that don’t eat up a lot of time.
Clean Self Care Products
Sometimes, it’s the simplest things that make a big difference. A small tweak to the things you already do every day can change your mindset.
Washing your hair, face, and body is one of the most ordinary ways to take care of your physical appearance. But do you know what those ordinary, even expensive, bathing products are doing to your hormones and brain chemistry? Most body wash, shampoo and conditioner, lotions, and skin care products are loaded with toxic, synthetic chemicals that throw your hormonal balance out of wack. Plus, many of them are designed so that you have to use more to achieve the same initial results.
Lip balms that contain harsh chemicals dry out your lips, causing you to reapply more often. Moisturizers that contain parabens, artificial dyes, sulfates, harsh preservatives, and other chemicals coat your skin, making it feel soft at first, but over time, they can actually leach moisture and minerals from your body, causing you to use more product.
Don’t even get me started on the long list of bad chemicals most shampoos and conditioners contain. The benefits to your hair are temporary at best, and they may even cause hair to break down faster and grow more slowly. Worse, the scalp absorbs these chemicals, which then spread throughout the body and possibly into the brain if they are the kind that can cross the blood/brain barrier.
Switching from chemical-laden products to clean, low-chemical or chemical-free products can make a world of difference over a short period of time. Pair a liver cleanse or a three-day water and lemon fast with the introduction of your new, cleaner products and you can speed up the beneficial results, which could include more energy, less brain fog, better sleep, and healthier, more youthful looking skin.
It’s not a miracle, and it won’t work overnight, but you’ll immediately feel better about yourself knowing you are providing yourself and your family with healthier, more efficient body care products. Find a product line and scent you love and stick with it. If you can find it cheaper online or discounted in bigger sizes at stores like Costco, even better.
Hydrotherapy
Water is the most magical of elements, in my opinion. But don’t rely on my humble opinion, there’s plenty of research that suggests hydrotherapy can work miracles, and in many ways. If you live by bodies of water like clean lakes, rivers, the ocean, or hot springs, you can submerge yourself in the cleansing depths for a calming or exhilarating experience (depending on the water temperature).
If you don’t have the time or location to immerse yourself in nature’s bodies of water, you can use the water you have at home to give yourself some zen or boost mood and energy.
Taking a hot bath with essential-oil scented epsom salts is my ultimate way to unwind. Use calming lavender to relax, citrus to boost energy, and eucalyptus or peppermint for mental focus and to open breathing passages. Light a few candles, put on some soft music, and grab a glass of your favorite cold beverage. Lay back, close your eyes, and feel all your stress melt away. When you drain the tub, stay in the water until most of it has drained, imagining any remaining stress as a gray mass going out through your feet, into the water, and down the drain.
You may want to take a quick cold rinse afterward, or just wrap yourself in a big fluffy towel and lay down on the bed for 5 to 10 minutes, just breathing deeply and thinking of things you are grateful for. You may find a big smile comes naturally to your face and you’re more prepared to face the rest of your week with positivity and joy.
If you have kids, after their bedtime is the best time to perform this super-relaxing self-care ritual. Think of it as accomplishing multiple tasks at once. You’re getting clean, doing your gratitude practice, getting some deep breathing in for mental clarity, releasing sticky stress, and relaxing your body and nervous system to make room for the next challenges. You’ll find it will be well worth that half hour or so when your mind, heart, and body are more relaxed and receptive.
Don’t have time for a bath? Make the most of your shower by using a scented shower steamer. Just make sure to choose one free from harsh chemicals so you can safely breathe deeply and enjoy the benefits of aromatherapy, even during a quick shower.
When getting out of the bath, I like to use a natural oil to lock in the scent and bind moisture to my skin naturally. I love raw, unfiltered coconut oil, but you could use jojoba oil, avocado oil, pure cocoa butter or shea butter. Just avoid any seed oils or vegetable oils, as they are not your friend.
Massage Therapy
I know, I know, massages are expensive! But I’m about to share some valuable hacks to get the benefits of massage therapy without the bougie price tag or high time commitment.
First up, Planet Fitness. This gym has gotten a bad rap from some people, but speaking from personal experience, not all locations are created equal. Some are just nicer and cleaner. But whichever location you choose, we recommend getting the Black Card membership. At under $30 a month, you gain access to the hydromassage beds and other classy, self-care comforts.
As someone who drives a lot and often sits at a desk writing and editing, my body can get very stiff and sore. The hydromassage beds at Planet Fitness fix me up in just 10 minutes (although I always wish it would last longer). You can adjust the pressure to your liking and choose a full body massage experience or target the areas that need the most attention.
There are also massage chairs, if that’s your thing. I prefer hard pressure, so I crank the hydromassage bed up to the max, but if you more gentle pressure, the massage chairs offer a less intense experience for 5 minutes.
With the Black Card, you also get access to tanning beds and the red-light therapy booth. If you live in a cold or cloudy climate, the tanning beds are oh so nice for soaking up some sun-like rays to help beat the winter blues and briefly warm the bones. And research suggests that red-light therapy can improve skin, joint function, hair growth, neural activity, help with weight loss, and reduce pain.
Don’t want to leave the house? If you love massage and like staying at home, consider investing in a personal massage tool. They come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and prices, and it’s a one-time cost if you get a quality massager. I bought my portable Japanese massager with optional red-light heat feature for $120 in 2018, and it’s given me years of instant and lasting relief. At the time, I really didn’t want to spend the money, but I can’t tell you how invaluable that initial investment has been. It truly has been one of the best small investments I’ve ever made.
One more massage tip. Trade foot massages with a friend, sibling, partner, even your kids. In my experience, young children love to practice massage. If they don’t want one in return, give them a dollar or two, a special treat, or something else they’d love to receive. It also teaches them empathy and the importance of self care. When you trade with your partner, it helps build intimacy and emotional bonding. It doesn’t have to get sexy, it can be a shared experience while watching a movie or your favorite relaxing TV show (no reality tv or drama – it will lessen the relaxing effects). Be considerate and make sure your feet are clean and exfoliated before asking. You’ll be more likely to get repeat sessions that way.
Slow Down
In today’s fast-paced world, filled with multitasking, noise, crowds, loads of work, and never-ending to-do lists, taking some time to slow way down can be a luxury in itself. What you do in that slowed-down time affects the quality of that time and whether it creates more space in your life and lightens your heart or piles on more stress, drama, and mental tangles.
Put on some headphones to drown out distractions, queue up a soft soundtrack, maybe something with brain-boosting binaural beats, and settle in for some well-deserved and much-needed me-time.
Just Breathe
Breathing may sound boring if you’ve never tried it, are not used to it, or are doing it in an unhelpful way. Obviously, hyperventilating is the opposite of relaxing. But ever since the ancient world, the greatest, most influential cultures in history touted the benefits of specific breathing practices.
One of my personal favorites is a 4-6 pattern. Simply inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly through the mouth for a count of six. I find it gently relaxes my body and quiets my mind after a minute of breathwork. I use this method to fall asleep when I’m having a hard time quieting my nervous system.
The 4-7-8 pattern is a favorite of many breathwork practitioners. This method calls for inhaling through the nose for four counts, holding the breath for seven counts, and exhaling through pursed lips while making a “whoosh” sound for eight counts. This breathing method is used for deep relaxation, and practitioners caution that you should only practice this method when you have a comfortable spot to rest for a bit. This technique can cause a bit of lightheadedness for beginners, so newbies to breathwork should complete a maximum of four repetitions of this pattern until they get used to the sensation.
Box breathing can be done anywhere, anytime, to boost mood, reduce stress and anxiety, and improve mental focus and clarity. Simply exhale through the mouth for a count of four, emptying the lungs completely, hold four counts, inhale through the nose four counts, hold four counts. This makes a complete pattern, and you can repeat as many times as you like.
When doing breathing exercise, the rule of thumb is to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. The hairs in the nose and mucous membranes in the sinus cavities help filter out environmental debris and toxins. Breathing out through the mouth helps air escape the lungs and diaphragm more easily and fully.
Laying on your back while breathing helps oxygen enter the diaphragm as well as the lungs more easily, enabling more oxygen to enter the blood stream. When you breathe out, your diaphragm should contract, pushing out more carbon dioxide so more oxygen can enter on your next inhale.
Plenty of YouTube videos offer quick, easy, and free tips and instructions for getting the maximum benefits from breathwork.
Creative Visualization
When we were kids, our teachers and parents called this daydreaming. As we grew older, we had this practice practice forcibly pushed out of our heads as adults admonished us to pay attention, focus, stop daydreaming. But creative visualization can powerfully affect your motivation, mood, stress levels, and even future outcomes. And while fretting over the future and entertaining catastrophic thoughts of the future can be easy to fall into, it’s incredibly destructive to your peace of mind. Replacing future fears with visions, thoughts, and feelings of the best possible outcomes, that is, your dream life, is not just useless fantasy. It can do worlds of good to your current and future life.
Studies show creative visualization can help maintain focus, reduce stress, improve performance, and boost confidence and motivation. To use this powerful mental tool properly, create a movie in your head where you’re the star of the show.
- Don’t be an observer, be the person living that ideal life.
- Use all of your senses. What do you hear, see, smell, taste, feel?
- Be as specific and detailed as possible in your imagery. The mind can’t tell the difference between your imagination and reality, so make it as real and immersive as possible.
- Write your visualization down, either before or after to embed it in your mind (and future).
- Practice as much as you like. Repetition solidifies visualization into reality.
- Say and write affirmations. Keep affirmations short and sweet. “I love my new two-story house with the garden and willow tree out back.” “My dream job (describe it) fulfills me and pays ______”
Once you get the hang of creative visualization it can feel just like a mini vacation, and you could see the same mental and emotional benefits as a vacation right away.
Spa Day (Or Hour)
Treat yourself to the physical, mental, and emotional relief of a spa day without the price tag. Light some candles, put on spa music, make some spa water (ice water infused with fruits or mint and cucumber).
Apply a face mask and deep conditioning hair mask. do your nails, highlight your hair, do a body scrub, add salts, bubbles, or bath bombs to a bath, exfoliate your feet, and finish up with your favorite scented body lotion. Pull on your softest fuzzy socks, wrap yourself in your favorite bath robe or cozy pj’s and relax.
It’s almost free, and you can even make a face and hair mask from ingredients you probably already have in your kitchen like eggs, honey, or oatmeal. Think you don’t have time? It will pay off in spades if you can carve out just an hour or two, as it will help you face the rest of the week feeling more resilient, calmer, and more confident. You’ll probably get more done and be happier about doing your regular tasks. Plus, you’ll look fabulous!
Natural Beauty
Spending time in nature revitalizes your mind, body, and soul, and it can be free! From taking a walk in the woods, strolling down a sidewalk next to a lake or even a pond, sitting quietly in the desert, or slipping your toes into the sand at the beach, enjoying your nearest natural environment brings you back to your truest self.
There’s just something about taking time to enjoy the natural world around you that has a very calming, yet exhilarating effect on your entire being. We are part of nature, and our bodies are made of the same elements as the trees, the earth, the water, the air, even the sun and stars. Putting your bare feet on the earth can help your body absorb crucial minerals for your overall well-being, and the peace of natural sounds and vibrations helps to connect you with the natural world, of which you are a part of.
Too often, we get caught up in pounding the pavement, the sounds of the city, and the distractions of social media, others’ expectations, and the general daily grind. Removing yourself from the unnatural world, however useful and fascinating it my be, is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself, bringing peace and wonder back into your life. So literally do stop and smell the flowers. It will do you a world of good.
Love Your Self
While all of these self-care tips and tricks can help you feel better instantly and help you cope with everyday stressors better, the most important self-care practice is an everyday thing – love yourself. It should come naturally, but for many of us, it can pretty hard sometimes to truly love and embrace our true selves, flaws and all. When life gets hard, like it always does, and you get down on yourself thinking you’re not doing/being/acting/trying enough, give yourself a break. You are doing the best you can, I know you are! You just keep going, give yourself a break using these self-care tips, and rebalance yourself. Stay present, and do your best to realize the gift of it all. There’s always something to be grateful for – and to someone, you are the thing to be grateful for.
We love you, and we love that you love yourself and that you’re working on it! So are we. So go take a time-out for yourself and get that glow up, girl! You deserve it.
